Another turning of the big wheel is over.

It is time for renewal.

As individuals.
As communities.
As humanity itself.

Will it be a new beginning or just another turning of the wheel?
Something new or more of the same?

Is there a difference?

Let’s dump all our new year’s resolutions and replace them with

RESOLVE

Resolve to make a difference in our lives.
Resolve to embrace ourselves no matter what.
Resolve to be kind and warm.
Resolve to open our hearts and let our love light up the world.

It is possible, feasible and very simple.
And all the meandering of the restless mind mere excuses,
For fatalism and victimhood.

Our decision. Our lives. Our planet.
Our brothers and sisters.
One Kin.

We create this wonderful place called Gaia.
She is our responsibility.
Let us embrace that with kindness, sincerity, humility and resolve.

That is RENEWAL to me, on this beautiful Thursday.

May the Force be with You

Benjamin

via Daily Prompt: Renewal

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photo credit: sjrankin Gaia’s Sky Map of the Milky Way via photopin (license)

Good morning. Sipping my coffee, inhaling non-spiritual fumes and enjoying myself and my optimized Facebook feed (I unsubscribed a lot of stuff) I stumbled across this video.

It is a conversation between JP Sears and The Lifetarian. I know JP from his funny videos and we digitally exchanged appreciation and understanding when he reacted to two or three of my comments. I did not know The Lifetarian but from the way he asks questions, makes conversation and a quick scan of his video titles and video thumbnails I can say “I Like”. I will definitely have a look at his work. His question about “How is your day? How people structure their day tells me a lot about their magick.” really hit home with me.

So check these guys out. Now the video. “Momentum Conversation”. This one has a lot of it and then some. I love it. It so down to earth, so relaxing, so honest. They just tell it as it is.

Let me introduce JP again. JP Sears is very successful with his funny “How to be Ultra Spiritual” videos. Already, these videos contain a lot of great information on how to look honestly into the mirror and become aware of our perceptual gaps when it comes to viewing yourself.

He has a number of great “serious” videos on his YouTube Channel.

I recommend his videos on narcissim and self-sabotage since I think many spiritual people, beginning with myself, have a wagonload of both.

Convincing oneself of talking to Archangel Michael or adopting the view “You are the Creator” takes a lot of ego and a lot of narcissim. This is not a bad thing at all. I mean, this ego-driven dynamic drives spiritual development up to a certain point. The way “mainstream spirituality” is marketed always pushes two buttons. Self-grandiosity and very childish needs. That is ok too.

Self-sabotage is widespread two, especially among new-agers. Money is bad, success is bad, bad feelings are bad, being among low-vibration people is bad, a partner will limit my free spirit.

Been there, done that as well.

This system of belief can become very stable over time, especially if you begin to press the send button and work with people based on the incomplete awareness (master apprentice view). Outside bravado, a great fan base, followers become the currency with which you stabilize your inherently unstable system. Not so good in my view, but in my experience, an inescapable stepping stone and recurring theme you can work with.

This video is about that. Funny and true. Oh, now I repeated myself.

Have a great day

Benjamin

 

 

Wir alle haben momentan Angst. Wegen Paris und Hannover. Vor dem Islamischen Staat und dem Terror. Mir geht es genauso, so sehr ich das in Gesprächen mit anderen Menschen aggressiv zu verhüllen versuche.

Ich hab 2003 in Paris gelebt. Die Stadt und ihre Menschen sind mir nahe. Im Bataclan war ich damals auch. Groove Armada. Ein geiles Konzert. Es fühlt sich komisch an, wenn dann so etwas passiert, an einem Ort den man so sehr liebt. Den man so gut kennt.

2005 war ich in London. Mein erster Job. Am 7. Juli ging ich morgens gerade aus der Tür als mich mein Mitbewohner anrief. “There is something wrong with the tube. Take the bus.”. Nichtsahnend lief ich zur nächsten Haltestelle und nahm eine Linie ins Zentrum. Ich kam nie an. Der Bus fuhr eine merkwürdige Route und hielt dann schließlich bei Elephant & Castle. Er war nicht der Einzige. Dutzende Busse, Hunderte, wenn nicht tausende Menschen. Polizei und Ordnungskräfte ohne Ende. Ich sprach einen Polizisten an: “What’s going on?”. “We are closing the bridges. It is a precaution. Nothing to worry about.”. Andere Londoner mit denen ich ins Gespräch kam, bekamen ähnliche Antworten. Keiner wusste was los war.

Dann klingelte mein Handy. Mein Vater. Was will der denn jetzt am frühen Morgen? “GEHT ES DIR GUT?”, schallte es mir entgegen. “Ja klar!”, sagte ich, “nur ein paar Probleme mit U-Bahn und Bus.”. Mein Vater dann: “Es gab Terrorattacken in London. Bomben. Auf Busse und U-Bahn. Genaues weiß man noch nicht. Kam gerade über den Ticker.”.

Stille.

Ein merkwürdiges Summen im Kopf.

Das kann doch nicht wirklich passieren!

Mehr und mehr Leute bekamen solche Anrufe und die Nachricht verbreitete sich schnell auf dem ganzen Platz. Die Leute blieben ruhig und gefasst. Die Sicherheitsbehörden bestätigten schließlich die Gerüchte und forderten uns auf nach Hause zu gehen.

Das kam für mich nicht in Frage. Alleine im Haus rumsitzen. Nein. Ich versuche ins Büro zu kommen. Da sind Menschen. Menschen die ich kenne. Ich will jetzt nicht alleine sein. Das Büro war direkt an der London Bridge. Angeblich abgeriegelt. Aber egal, das Office war für mich in dem Moment der einzige Ort, an dem ich mich sicher fühlen würde.

Ich ging die paar Kilometer zu Fuß. An der Themse entlang. Ich sah nichts. Kein Rauch. Kein Chaos. Aber ich hörte etwas. Stille. Viel zu viel Stille für so eine riesige Stadt. Und Sirenen.

Als ich an der Südseite der London Bridge ankam war die Brücke versperrt. Polizei und Militär. Unklare Gefahrenlage. Keiner betritt die Nordstadt. Ich diskutierte energisch mit dem Kommandierenden. Beschrieb meine Lage. Zeigte ihm mein Bürogebaude auf der anderen Themseseite. “Please, I would feel so much safer in there. It is just on the other side.”. Lange fünf Minuten später durfte ich passieren.

Ich betrat unser Office nur wenige Minuten bevor keiner mehr das Gebäude betreten oder verlassen durfte. Der Portier, den ich am Vorabend für die Rheinische Post zum Gewinn der Olympischen Spiele 2012 interviewt habe, war verstört und winkte mich zu den Fahrstühlen. Ich solle mich sofort beim Notfallbeauftragten melden. Headcount. Einige Mitarbeiter seien noch nicht lokalisiert.

Was zum Teufel passiert hier gerade? So was passiert doch nur im Fernsehen?

Als ich unser Großraumbüro betrat war ich erstmal erleichtert. Mein Team und vor allem mein Freund Arne, der jeden Morgen durch King’s Cross fuhr, waren alle da. Die Stimmung war komisch. Die Leute redeten aufgeregt, checkten die News-Sites, chatteten und telefonierten mit Angehörigen. Alle wirkten geschockt, aber gefasst. Gearbeitet wurde nicht. Schlimm war zu sehen, was die Leute machten, wenn sie dachten es sehe keiner hin. Diese 0,3 Sekunden Betäubung und Angst. Und dann wieder weiter. Ich bin mir sicher, auch ich habe so geguckt, ohne es zu merken.

Ich musste rauchen. Dringend. Am 7. Juli gab es plötzlich wieder ziemlich viele Raucher. Arne und ich waren Stammbesetzung. Normalerweise rauchten wir in der Tiefgarage. Das ging nicht, also gingen wir aufs Dach.

Der Blick der sich uns bot war gespenstig. Unser Straßenzug war Teil der altehrwürdigen City of London. Autos, Busse, Menschen, Lärm.

Nichts davon war da. Nur ein paar leere Straßen. Dreck und alte Zeitungen wurden vom Wind die Straße herunter geweht. Ist echt so passiert. Kein Mensch. Keine Polizei. Absolut nichts zu sehen.

Nur die Sirenen. Überall die Sirenen.

Eine der Anschlagsorte war nicht weit weg. Vielleicht einen Kilometer. Wir haben nichts gesehen. Nur Sirenen. Den ganzen Tag.

Die nächsten Stunden vergingen merkwürdig zeitlos. Wir erfuhren nach und nach was genau los war. Der Terrorbeauftragte der Firma kam mehrfach ins Büro und erzählte wie wir uns verhalten sollten. Nachdem also die Nachrichten verdaut, alle Angehörigen angerufen waren durften wir am frühen Abend endlich das Gebäude verlassen und nach Hause gehen. Freitag war “day off” für alle.

Ich werde nie vergessen, was dann geschah. Ich verließ das Gebäude, und mit mir tausende Andere. Die breite Straße, vor kurzem noch so leer, war gefüllt von Menschen. Alle Richtung Süden. Nach Hause. Zu Fuß. Bus und Tube waren ja noch geschlossen.

Die Stimmung war entschlossen und geradezu kämpferisch. Fast heiter. Erleichtert. Ein Brite bemerkte meinen deutschen Akzent und entgegnete in typisch englischem schwarzen Humor: “The Führer had us worse. The Blitz. The bombings you know. This is nothing.”. Ich kann das schwer beschreiben aber an diesem Abend war diese gnadenlos individualistische und kalte Stadt so anders. Es war, es war so eine Art Festivalatmosphäre. Surreal und doch verständlich. Wir sind mit dem Leben davongekommen.

Ich kam alleine zu Hause an. Meine Mitbewohner sind bei Freunden in der Stadt geblieben. Einer meiner guten Freunde war in der Stadt gestrandet und kam dann zu mir. Ich weiß nicht warum, aber wir haben die Nacht durch und den nächsten Tag 17 Folgen Desperate Housewives geguckt, gelacht und Take-Out gegessen. Das tat gut.

Danach ging das Leben weiter. Ich nahm den Tube, ich fuhr mit dem Bus.

Einmal saß ein Araber mit Rucksack in der U-Bahn, im Sitz neben mir. Ich musste mich zwingen, nicht hinzusehen. In meinem Kopf sehe ich noch heute Drähte aus dem Rucksack ragen, die nie da waren. Das hat die Angst mit mir gemacht.

Ich habe den 7. Juli nie richtig verarbeitet. Die Sirenen.

Ich reagiere noch heute sehr heftig auf das Geräusch. Warum war mir bis vor ein paar Monaten nie bewusst.

Ich hatte eine Scheißangst als Paris getroffen wurde.

So jetzt ist es raus!

The New Age is coming, right?

Every “awakened”, “enlightened” and “spiritual” person knows this.

Interestingly, the concept of a new age is as old as mankind itself. The idea that the current generation might live to witness a great expansion of consciousness, the reckoning and the beginning of God’s kingdom on earth is a recurring theme throughout the ages.

So why does this idea keep persisting when it has failed to manifest itself for thousands of years? Why do we still hold dear to the concept that “it will finally happen in my lifetime”, when countless others have held the same view and been disappointed?

In my view, a big portion is ego. The need to be special. Belonging to a group of people who deem themselves special or are so deemed by others fulfills that need. I have grown very critical of spiritual marketing lingo like “awakened” or “enlightened”. In my book, using this terminology is, in itself, an expression of a dualistic, polarized world-view. I am so spritual, when will the others wake up? Come on, guys – cut it out. Is that what it’s about? Comparison to others? Seeking answers outside of yourself? Espousing an us versus them mentality while seeking out unity consciousness? Doesn’t quite sit right.

In my opinion New Age lore is – largely – a distraction. It is very interesting, for a time, and serves a great purpose, for a time.

In my personal experience, New Age concepts have a lower entry treshold than the hard-core traditional esoteric schools. I started looking into this first in 2007 with the inescapable “The Secret” and some Ken Wilbur and then, very intensively, in summer 2012. Just in time to get hooked on the 2012 stuff going around. Having been on a extended sick leave, I spent 10 hours a day watching lectures from Nassim Haramein, Drunvalo Melchizedek, David Icke, Teal Swan, Santos Bonacci and what felt like every Zeitgeist-type movie in existence. I read stuff on hermetics, the Kabbalah, sacred geometry, astrology etc. The good thing about this was, the overwhelming input made me rethink and revisit many assumptions held about myself and reality in general. All those new ideas were like a counter-infection that corrupted and exterminated my old system of belief. My memeplex collapsed.

That was great.

Other than that the experience didn’t change much. It did not encourage me to meditate any deeper, nor did it encourage me to look at myself, my inner workings more closely. For a time, all I did was relating those inner experiences to this incredible grandiose story of mass awakening, ascended masters and the eternal battle between the Pleiadians and the Reptilians. That is not to say that these concepts are useless or false. I just got lost in it. The cause of every experience seemed to be outside of myself. The whole thing was incredible confusing and my life got increasingly messed up. I lost touch with realtiy and lived in a world of symbols and stories, neglecting everyday life and it’s wonderful experiences completely.

That was not so great.

In conclusion. New Age, please drink in moderation. Use the great ideas put forth by committed and passionate teachers as a stepping stone for your own development. Don’t wait for others, don’t look towards others. Don’t wait for big things to happen in this world before taking the next step on your path. Everything you need is already there, inside of you. Everything you need will be manifested for you. Observe consciously, act consciously. The taste of your morning coffee might be as important a clue towards your next step as the one-week yoga retreat coming up.

Somebody once said, that the way towards the sacred is achieved through the profane. True, in my experience. Human life is the Great Spirit having a human experience. Sure, I know a lot about esoterics, I mediate daily, I do regular body and breathing work with a very skilled therapist, I even teach meditation. Does that make me more spiritual than my friends? They did the marriage-house-kids thing. Is that any less a spiritual experience? Raising kids – what can possibly be more spiritual than that.

I once learned that the Seeker may learn the truth in pursuing it humbly and sincerely. And that can only be achieved by being within yourself at all times. “Know thyself, and thou shalt now all the wonders of the universe”.

Truths are simple, not complicated. That’s why they are so hard to find!

Have a great week.

The spiritual path, sometimes, becomes treacherous. It is at times hard for the Seeker to differentiate where to find hard truths and where to find wanna-be wisdom. Beware of false phrophets, so the Bible tells us. Organized religion, in part, certainly serves as a cautionary tale in that regard.

I just listened to an audio on astrology. In substance and style, it represented everything that made me skeptical and wary of spirituality a few years back. It was folklore, it was entertainment, it was about giving people what they want to hear.

I have this queasy feeling in my stomach now. It literally makes me sick that it is so easy to catch people’s souls, desires and aspirations in a marketing-crafted web of false promises that easily. What is it, that makes us succumb to what is easy instead of seeking out depth. I felt I had to share that with you, so as to rid myself of that queasyness.

My girlfriend gave me this book for my birthday: “Shadows on the Path”. It is written by a spiritual person warning others of false prophets along the way. It was a good read.

Thinking about my own spirituality, I try to follow the following principle. What would have made my 25-year old self listen? What would have inspired the old me to seek answers? How do I build a bridge to those who are skeptical? To me, spirituality has to embrace both heart and mind. For a truth to be true it must prove its veracity spiritually, emotionally, physically AND mentally. After all how can something be true and whole when understanding isn’t based on all our faculties of understanding and interpreting reality. It is my personal quest not only to feel the truth but to know the truth. That made me seek out the part of my mind that could comprehend and interpret my experiences. The higher mind.

However, some things cannot be explained, you might say. Some things are not meant to be touched.

Well, try harder!

Merging inner science and outer science, esoterics and exoterics, spirituality and modern science will be the next big leap forward for mankind. There have to be people whose criteria for truth must meet both worlds. Otherwise, they will never become one.

I feel slightly better now.

 

(MY first attempt at Dadaism ;-);-);-))

Interviewer: John Dandy (a.k.a Junior)
Interviewee: God (Robert Stark)

John Dandy: Well, finally, God has given us the right to broadcast the following interview and…
God: Given, Junior, Given??? I didn’t give you anything. You did!Rob Stark: Behead the Idiot already and be done with it. I have a dragon to catch.

Enters the Fool (a.k.a Benjamin): SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT AND STOP WHINING LIKE LITTLE PRISSIES OVER WHAT IS YELLOW AND WHAT IS GREEN. WHO REALLY CARES? i Certainly dont give a shit! And I am still alive. So that shit has to work for everyone.

And so the Fool continued his rant until John, God and Robert were completely worn down. He is a good man, that fool. Really. And in that intention, he feels it is necessary to initiate a massive, preventive strike against all idiocy in this world with the full force of his wrath, which does not exist.

How can you be sure he is not in impostor? IMPOSTOR??? Well, he doesn’t care about appearances, so neither should you.

He kindly asks you to consider the 10 Commandment crap he wrote earlier as null and void and issues a new book called: “The Only Commandment”. It is completely blank, which is the joke. And since he is the Fool. LALALALA

And so the Lord sayeth: Let there be only one commandment added to the 10 so far.
11: Always be true to yourself

The writer of this text is very bold and fearful at the same time. He has a bipolar tendency. That might include killing youself for no reason etc. Luckily. After pressing the “Publish” button, the writer will be healed, thereby remedying all states. I hand the staff to whoever wants it. I really dont wanna do that 😉

Footnote:

I hereby affirm wholy and compelely that I wrote this out of my free will as a child of God.

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Image by lueckbuesser.org

On account of those whose thoughts and feelings have been silenced by psychopharmacology.

Dear Psychiatrist,

I am one of those you label “mentally ill”. I have displayed symptoms consistent with several diagnoses in your diagnostic bible. I believed in this diagnosis without question because I felt you believed in it without question. You looked up some fancy drugs on a list and gave them to me. All will be well, you said. But I felt worse. I felt more imbalanced than before. Finally, I forget that I felt at all. Numbed down, a zombie, I looked ok on the outside. And when you asked how I felt, I made something up like “OK”, because honestly, the only thing I felt was an echo of myself. Lost in the persistent daze induced by the chemicals in my bloodstream. And I really took my pills. But I did not get better. I relapsed, got some new drugs, lived a normal life for 5 minutes and then relapsed. Nothing you did worked.

So I started to think. What if all of this is wrong?

I started asking questions leading me to further questions leading me to question the veracity of my diagnosis and the nature of the illnesses itself. I quickly found a lot of information that is not at all consistent with what you said.

Did you never ask those questions? You are a professional in this field. You are tasked to take good care of me and others like me. Why didn’t you ask those questions? Why didn’t you listen to me when I told you what I had found? Are you aware that you are potentially massively hurting people for the fear of being wrong? Or stubborn, locked-in it what you think everything is?

Why did you not take care of me? Why did you make me a victim of my biochemistry and merciless medication based on, what you must know to be, a hypothesis with scarce support. Was it the golf vacation in Valencia from Pharma A that made you forget? Or the training by Pharma B on the miracles of their new drug? Was is the pressure from your peers? Was it helplessness? At what point did you compromise, at what point did you throw out ethics, emotion and rational thought? Why did you do this?

I have so much rage towards what you did to me, it makes me ill. But I have become to know you too. You are not a bad guy. I don’t understand.

Please, help me understand.

Yours

Benjamin

PS: I am fine now. Thanks to gestalt therapy, meditation and spirituality. Maybe I should tell you that. Otherwise you may continue to believe it’s the pills.

I firmly believe that much of the world’s problems stem from us adopting false belief systems without question. We have been betrayed, taught wrong, led to believe things that are not true and forgotten our true nature.

1. We have been betrayed!

We have been betrayed by ourselves, our mind, our ego, our false systems of belief. We have been betrayed by the system we live in. We have been betrayed into believing that “this reality” is all there is.

2. We have been taught!

We have been taught that we are powerless while we are creators. We have been taught God is separate from us while Oneness is in and around us. We have been taught that the Saviour will come to set us free while it is us that have to free ourselves.

3. We have been led to believe!

We have been led to believe, that we are more or less like anybody while we are unique and special. We have been led to believe that this world of matter is solid and real while in truth every atom consists of 99,9999999 %  space. We have been led to believe that life is a burden and the godly reward resides in Heaven while our ability to influence and create our own reality is limitless.

4. We have forgotten!

We have forgotten our true nature as divine consciousness. We have forgotten the bonds that bind us together, failing to recognize each and every human being as our brother and sister. We have forgotten the Covenant of Old.

The paradigm of the small, helpless, little you, not able to change a thing in this world. The idea that we have a fixed place, a fixed role in a “divine order” serving only the elite. The concept of the little cog in the all-consuming relentless machine. The feeling of desperation within us as we say “I am only one human. How can I do anything about things? How can I change the world?”. The thought of a fixed reality, us being victims of the circumstances and a deluge of information and complexity we fail to comprehend. Sure I have overpainted this, but I believe each of you will have a feeling right now of what I mean. Most importantly, don’t believe any of it!

It is a LIE!  It is an ILLUSION! It is a DREAM!

“Reality is an illusion, albeit a persistent one.” Albert Einstein

Plato knew this 2.000 years ago. The parable of the cave. We see shadows on the wall and believe this to be the only reality there is, never asking what casts this shadow and what light shines behind it.

You want to find out?

Well, turn around and go looking! All that is needed is your sincere intention and commitment to go all the way.

Just follow the light.

Within.